Managing other people's opinions

Because when you're doing something out of the norm, you're going to get opinions whether you ask for them or not

Author

Maggie Blackburn
March 24, 2025

When I decided to leave my full-time job, I didn’t tell my mom. 😬 

I knew that she would tell me I should never quit a job without another one lined up and warn me that this was a big mistake.

And because I can be easily influenced, I knew her fear would trickle into my brain and make me doubt myself.

What I also realized is that the more people I told, the more opinions I would get—whether I asked for them or not.

Because when you’re doing something outside of the normal path, it’s easy for people to ask questions, often with a little judgement in their voice, like:

💼 "Do you have another job lined up?”
💵 “How are you going to make money?”
🧠 "So…what are you going to do next?"  

Valid questions but the answers were fuzzy, and I could feel the anxiety behind them asking.

To keep marching forward toward my goal, I had to figure out how to care less about other people's opinions and stay true to my own voice.

A 2×2: The types of people you may encounter

As an ex-consultant and ex-corporate person, I love a good 2×2. To me, there seemed to be a few different types of people who offered their opinion.

👩‍⚖️ Critics: Low intent, high helpfulness

These are the types of people who may have ulterior motives when offering their advice. Critics can be helpful but when their intention is low, it might hurt our progress.

I once set up an introductory call with a coach who had a fairly large social presence. When I joined the call, there was no polite introduction—she went straight into business: "What can I do for you?"

When I explained my challenge, she quickly gave me some harsh feedback about how I was approaching my offer the wrong way. Sure, her advice was technically helpful, but the delivery and intention was off.

What a critic might sound like:

  • "The way you’re approaching it is wrong. This is what I would do if I were you.”

  • "I’ve been through this, and I can help you, but you have to sign up for my course.”

What to do if you encounter a critic:

First, identify if they’re coming from a place of ill-intent (they could be a worrier!). Then, take their advice with a grain of salt 🧂. Decide which parts of their advice are actually helpful to implement and ignore the rest.

😰 Worriers: High intent, low helpfulness

Worriers want the best for you, but when they offer advice (also sometimes unsolicited), it's not all that helpful. It might be coming form a place of fear or anxiety within their own lives. Or it might not be helpful because they don’t know anyone else doing what you’re doing.

What a worrier might sound like:

  • "Have you thought about what you’ll do if this doesn’t work out?"

  • "I heard about someone who tried that, and it didn’t end well.”

  • “You’re going to quit your job?? Wtf are you going to do about money?”

What to do if you encounter a worrier:

First, thank them for expressing their concern as you know it’s coming from a well-intentioned place.

Then, think about if they’re qualified to give you their opinion. Have they even done the thing you’re doing before?

Finally, decide if it’s helpful for you to limit your time with them or share feedback (politely), which might sound like, “I really appreciate you looking out for me, but sometimes when you give me unsolicited advice, it [insert impact it’s having on you]. In the future, I’d appreciate if you could…”

😃 Advisors: High intent, high helpfulness

Your most supportive group of friends, family members, colleagues—the true homies. You tell them a challenge you’re having and rather than try to problem solve, they check in with you. If you want their advice, it’s never critical—like you’re doing something wrong—just another way to look at the problem.

What an advisor might sound like:

  • “That’s really exciting that you’re trying something new! How can I support you?”

  • “I’m really proud of you for taking on a new challenge. If you’d like, I can share a few tips that worked for me in a similar situation."

  • “Can I connect you with friends who are doing something similar?”

What to do if you encounter an advisor:

Listen! Their helpfulness can be advice, but it can also just be support and encouragement. Lean into this tribe of people who wants to see you succeed and share your wins (and losses) with them when you’re feeling alone.

😑 Detractors: Low intent, low helpfulness

I debated calling these the Death Eaters 👻 for Harry Potter fans out there. These are the negative nay-saying people who don’t want to see you succeed for whatever reason.

Whether they are toxic bosses, jealous “friends”, or someone else watching from the sidelines, they’re here to drag you down. Your growth lies in not listening to what they have to say.

What a detractor might sound like:

  • "I don’t know why you’re wasting your time. You’re not cut out for this."

  • "That’s a stupid idea—nobody will buy into that."

  • "You have no experience in that area. Why do you think it would work?”

What to do if you encounter a detractor:

Move on and ignore them ASAP. They’re a waste of time and energy… bye! 👋 

Final thoughts

At the end of the day, navigating the opinions of others can be one of the toughest parts of stepping out on your own path.

But here’s the thing: not all advice is created equal.

Some people are coming from a place of love and support, while others may just be projecting their own fears or doubts, adding noise to your journey.

Remember, YOU get to decide who influences your story. Don’t let anyone's opinion cloud your vision—especially when you know deep down you're on the right track.

💬 Your turn

How do you handle other people’s opinions when you’re doing something new or different for the first time?

✨ Weekly Feels ✨

Compared to last year, I have been doing a lot less traveling these first three months but soon I’ll be heading back to the Bay Area April 8 - 15 for my mom’s 70th birthday, Orlando for a site visit April 15-16, and a bachelorette weekend in Miami May 15-18. If you’re in the Bay Area while I’m there and want to meet live, let me know!

My life feels like a bit of a jigsaw puzzle right now, balancing between freelance work, my own clients (I will share more soon!), and content creation, but I have zero regrets and just one question—for those of you who post consistently on multiple platforms, how do you do it??

Anyways, I know this was a long one, and I want to make this newsletter the most helpful to all 143 💘 of you here, so if you have two minutes, please take my survey below!

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